So now that Christmas has passed, time to keep the
holiday train a-movin’! Right on past Boxing Day because really, the thought of
people standing in lines overnight in minus degree temperatures and shoving
into one another in crowded mall stores does not exactly give me warm butterfly
feelings. Instead, there’s the more anticipated end to the winter holiday trio
that comes with its own expectations and traditions: New Years.
Personally, I’m not much of a New Years gal. It’s
probably because of all the pressures that come with making plans for that
famed eve, making sure you’re doing something exciting at least during possibly
the 10 most exciting and hopeful seconds of the year with the hope that the
following year will mirror that stint of excitement. Are you getting that I
rarely have New Years plans to match the expectation? And don’t even get me
started on that whole “who are you going to kiss at midnight” debacle that
every single girl has to contend with…
But let’s not forget that New Years is just the
prequel to the epic motion picture, being the year ahead. The older I get, I
find myself buying more and more into the “new year, fresh start” cliché. I
used to be adamant about the fact that New Years was just another day in a
cycle of days; I never got the big deal about this “holiday”. Maybe it’s my
ever wisening perceptions about life that make me want to be hopeful about New
Years, that the regrets and mistakes of the past year can somehow be rectified
or redeemed in the year to come. That’s why I started making New Year’s
resolutions.
I recognize that this is no revelation: resolutions
are to New Years as cake is to birthday. But I’m not talking about the “lose 20
pounds” type of resolutions I would make in high school. Rather, I have started
making a short list of realistic but not necessary anxiety-inducing goals for
the year. For example, last New Years I vowed that I would be a better Zia to
my niece and nephew, having been away at school for all of their lives and thus
only able to spend minimal time with them. Now, I see them at least twice a
week, and we do some hardcore playing: I’m talking flipping them over my back,
crawling on my knees, speaking in funny voices etc. I am now the one Chloe asks
for when we have family gatherings, and last week, Aidan said “Zia” for the
first time, but he only associates the term with me and not yet my sisters. In
my book, that New Year’s resolution gets a check mark.
At the end of every year, I go through my list and
reflect back on whether or not I achieved my goals to my own standard, and look
at whether what I want in my life has changed from what it was one year ago. It’s
about taking strides to improve my person and my life for me, not according to
any expectation anything else or anyone else may have. Achievable but
challenging goals, like getting out of the country for a bit. Maybe that means
a weekend road trip to New York or Boston: nothing too extravagant, but a
change of scene that makes the resolution grade. It has become my way of
challenging myself to make one year better than the last, and a reminder that
despite all of the crap we might go through every year, there are good moments
to reminisce about too, and the potential number of fantastic times to follow
is enough to overshadow the relatively few embarrassing or difficult times of
the past.
I understand that resolutions are still considered
cheesy and unnecessary by many people: hi, I used to be one of them. But
consider looking at it from a different view, and using your resolutions as
opportunities to know yourself, and what you want, better. Shakespeare didn’t
suggest that you “know thyself” for nothin’.
